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Biing! – Sex, Intrigen und Skalpelle

reLINE Software 1995
Genre: Strategy
Rating: 4/6
Licence: Commercial
System: PC

Eh???? What is this? Biing! is a completely whacky and erotic hospital management simulation, or to sum it up: something absolutely crazy.

So you are the head of a hospital (not the boss, that guy is just sitting in is armchair, smoking cigars) and it is your task to earn every day's rent for the location, because if you don't, you're bankcrupt immediately and you have to start over.

Cobra Mission: Panic in Cobra City

MegaTech 1992
Genre: Adventure, RPG
Rating: 4/6
Licence: Commercial
System: PC

Private eye + Playboy = Private dick? Indeed, in this game you can be an excellent detective as well as incorrigible womanizer. At last your title is justified! But shhh... you don't know about it just yet. What you do know is that Cobra City has been shaken by a series of alarming events. People are dissappearing, streets gangs are running loose, police are disbanded and it's time that you investigate what's causing disturbance. Together with your charming female partner you will disentangle one case after another until eventually you pick up the trail of a mysterious criminal overlord known as Kaiser.


Coktel Vision 1990
Genre: Puzzle, Adventure, Action
Rating: 1/6
Licence: Commercial
System: Amiga, PC (DOS)

After the big success (?) of Emmanuelle, fans (?) could hardly wait for more. So here we have Geisha. A game designed to make the audience appreciate the predecessor even more.

How is that possible? Well, from start to finish, Geisha is a mess. Its plot? Laughable: a mad scientist turns young beautiful women into robot sex slaves and now he has kidnapped your girlfriend. Right, of course! Luckily, the villain has made a number of enemies in Japan's underworld, so if you (literally) play your cards right, you may get some support stopping him.

Girl Simulator

? 1986
Genre: Adventure
Rating: 0/6
Licence: Freeware
System: C64

Ever since Eliza, artificial intelligences attempting to pass the Turing Test have predominantly belonged to the female species. It is, as everybody knows, a sign of a scientific approach. Girl Simulator discloses its non-biological nature in its name; nevertheless, it shall be treated according to the same scientific standards out of respect proper in academic circles.

Knights of Xentar

MegaTech 1994
Genre: RPG
Rating: 4/6
Licence: Commercial
System: PC

Knights of Xentar is one weird ass RPG. You play as Desmond, a knight with a kids voice who gets his sword, jewels, and clothes stolen by bandits at the very beginning. As soon as you save the daughter of a storekeeper and get some equipment, it's off on a quest to get your stuff back while saving lots of girls in the process. (Keep in mind that the US version is censored by default unless you install the NR-18 Kit)

Leisure Suit Larry 1: In the Land of the Lounge Lizards

Sierra 1991
Genre: Adventure
Rating: 5/6
Licence: Commercial
System: PC

Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards for MS-DOS PCs is a classic adult game. 40-year old virgin Larry Laffer heads to town looking for love, riches and a new life-style. Visiting a number of places, interacting with a host of characters, gambling to support himself, and pushing the envelope of questionable behavior, Larry seeks to lose his virginity.

Leisure Suit Larry 6: Shape Up or Slip Out!

Sierra On-Line 1993
Genre: Adventure
Rating: 6/6
Licence: Commercial
System: PC

Congratulations, you have lost! Yes, that's exactly how you start this brand new adventure, Larry. You were invited to the "Stallions" TV contest show, where you were hardly a "stallion" anyway, still you have surpassed all expectations and once again successfully retained your title as unparalleled buffoon! But dig this, pal, by losing so adorably you get yourself a free ticket to vacation you would never afford under ordinary circumstances, which is a part of the contract you weren't aware of in the first place! "Ya ain't gettin' away now, lovuhboy!" – whispered your mischievous fortune...

Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards

Sierra On-Line 1987
Genre: Adventure
Rating: 6/6
Licence: Commercial
System: PC

The moment you start up this game, you know you're in for a treat. The cheesy music, accompanied with two-and-a-half colours active on screen and an intro featuring a dork in a white tuxedo, chasing what appears to be, a blow-up doll. Yes, welcome in the Land of the Lounge Lizards.

Man Enough: The Ultimate Social Adventure

Tsunami 1993
Genre: Puzzle
Rating: 1/6
Licence: Commercial
System: PC

It's strange how total humiliation of men is commonly considered a comedic subject. In Two and a Half Men, this spanned a whole 262 episodes, with great popular success! Man Enough could be considered the computer game equivalent. It doesn't last quite as long, but in turn, the humiliation is all the more direct as there is no Jon Cryer taking the constant abuse as audience stand-in.

Metal & Lace: The Battle of the Robo Babes

MegaTech Software 1993
Genre: Action
Rating: 2/6
Licence: Commercial
System: PC

Unless you happen to speak the Japanese language, you probably only get those rare glimpses into their entertainment culture (like me). Oh, of course, I've watched Akira and I have played the Street Fighter games. Thinking about it, this whole game console world is very Japanese (which is maybe the reason why it always stayed alien to me), and, granted, Italian plumbers getting high on mushrooms to fight turtles are fairly weird. Though Nintendo is just the "family friendly" side.

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